i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
