Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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