so let's talk penis.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
