Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Randomize
