Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Please, let me fuck your mom
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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