First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
