I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
