So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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