we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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