You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i just made my gag reflex go away.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
