Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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