He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
