Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I need to align my fucking chakras
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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