The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
