I puked a lego.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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