OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
