Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
is wine microwaveable?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
