I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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