i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
