i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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