I hate your face
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
