we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
