Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
ok first of all what the fuck
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
