Ambien. No doubt about it.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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