theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
