My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Randomize
