and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
