so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I just want nice things and good sex
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
