And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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