I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
