I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Randomize
