You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
