as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
