This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
