we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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