just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
