it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Randomize
