Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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