If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
