Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
there was a trapeze. enough said
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
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