You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
