He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
We talked him into tasing himself.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
