WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
