So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
