It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Randomize
