Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
