Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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