the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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