I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
