Plan B is the new Plan A
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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