i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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